Most Change is for the Better

The last time I remember having to cope with a LOT of change was back in 2015:

My best friend David and I had just returned from our first trip abroad-

(we were doing the best we could to process our new world view).

We were also renting our first place together

(the first time we had to pay ALL of our "adult bills" on our own).

And, our junior year of College had just begun!

I remember being overwhelmed and feeling more desperate than that I had ever been before. At the same time, though, I didn't feel justified in expressing those challenging emotions because I was living a privileged life (the opportunity to go to college on scholarship, food in my belly, a roof over my head, parents who loved and supported *most of the decisions I made).

Who was I to wallow in any kind of negativity?!

Rather than indulging in self pity, I decided to accept the challenges I was facing, feel the feelings and turning them into something worth sharing. Which led me to share my first original song at an open mic night in one of Montevallo's charming little coffee & book shops (R.I.P. Eclipse).

Now, being in front of an audience with a hundreds of eyes looking at me and blinding stage lights shining on me (protecting me from having to witnessing those staring eyes) had never been a problem before. This time was different. There were about 30 sets of eyes present and I could see all of their. I didn't have a character to hide behind, I didn't have lines to memorize, I didn't have the guidance of a director to give me feedback before I was thrown to the crowd, I didn't have any scene partners and I didn't know how to play an instruments well enough to accompany myself.

What I did have though, was a little bit of courage.

Hands for clapping and snapping a simple rhythm.

A song in my heart.

And a room full of kind faces,

ready to receive my creativity as I turned myself inside out for the first time.

It was a great exercise in vulnerability.

And it was SO worth it.

I've been shamelessly sharing original music since then :)

---

Looking back makes me realize that I haven't had to deal with that many new /scary /challenging things in the past five years.

And I need to change that.

I'm the only one who can!

If you'd like to see a long drawn out pep talk to myself about the "changes" I'm striving to make, and the challenges I'm choosing this year, you can follow this link here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FPLQbZ1RVU

---

p.s. Just incase you were curious, here are the lyrics to that

Very. First. Song. I wrote shared five years ago.

Enjoy :)

Syncopation, Psychonation

Syncopation, s, s, syncopation

We're livin' in a psycho nation (ps, ps, psycho nation)

They'll try and tell you what to think

While your mind is on the brink of more beautiful things

They tell you that it's wrong

But you feel right

Don't let their judging words keep you up at night

Just follow your good heart and you'll start to see a change

(*clap clap clap clap)

Most change is for the better

It ain't easy I know

But change is pain and pain is growth

Have faith in where you'll go

Don't make a change for anybody

Just change for yourself

Be a better you than yesterday

Share in your happiness, it's wealth

WooooOOOAHHhhhh Ohhhh

Go someplace you've never been before

Just open up your heart and give far more

Than you've ever gave

Stop trying to save yourself

You feel uncomfortable you don't feel right

You're out of rhyme and time

Don't fit in anyone's lines

You change your mind, every time you speak

Most change is for the better

It ain't easy I know

But change is pain and pain is growth

Have faith in where you'll go

Don't make a change for anybody

Just change for yourself

Be a better you than yesterday

Share in your happiness, it's wealth

WooooOOOAHHhhhh Ohhhh

Syncopation, s, s, syncopation

We're livin' in a psycho nation (ps, ps, psycho nation)

They'll try and tell you what to think

While your mind is on the brink of more beautiful things

Thank you for being here.

You are appreciated <3